Social Media Pushing You? An Open Letter To Single Ladies

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Hey Sis,

So you logged in to your social media page and you saw that your colleague back in the university days is about to get married; mehn, the pre-wedding pictures were so dope you begin to wonder who their photographer was, maybe you can use him when you are ready to get married, but wait! You don’t even have a man; at that point, you didn’t have a choice but to laugh loud at yourself…poor you!

One Saturday evening, you logged in to your Facebook page again and wow! They just got married, your TL is flooded with pictures and the comments were so amazing. Oh! Wait, 250 likes in less than 2 hours? Wow! So you quickly clicked on it to drop your own comment after which you started reading different comments and prayers dropped by other friends and well-wishers. At this point, even though you were genuinely happy for this couple, you started getting jealous, especially when the new bride won’t quit posting different pictures of them with different accolades and ‘oriki’ all over your timeline. You begin to ask if all is well with you, why is everyone getting it right but you.

You suddenly begin to reconsider those proposals you turned down in the past on good ground, why? You also want a pre-wedding, wedding, post-wedding and every other shot there is. You also want hundreds of likes and comments on your wedding pictures. You too want a wedding dress that other girls will envy; you want all the attentions people dole out to a new bride.

You can’t afford a Vera Wang wedding dress, but you can definitely get your fashion designer to design a look-alike for you.  So many plans in your head, but heck, you don’t even have a man in your life! Then you begin to get depressed, everything annoys you these days, you are no longer active on Facebook and Instagram because you don’t want to see another person get married before you, leaving you in the single’s avenue

But wait, this is where you missed it. Have you wondered why you no longer see some people on social media anymore some months after they were married? Not like they aren’t there, they just stopped throwing their pictures all over the social media. Have you also noticed that the last picture of ‘hubby and I’ posted by one of your friends few weeks after her wedding had a few likes and very few comments? Let me tell you why.

Wedding and all the activities that accompany it have a special way of creating some sorts of excitement, most especially in the newly wedded; they are like a 5-year-old girl who cannot wait for Christmas to try on her new dress and shoe. At this new state of the relationship, almost everything will be forgiven because it is the beginning of a new reality. But after a month or two, the reality begins to unfold in ways they never imagined, they begin to know the true nature of the person they got married to, it is ‘for better for worse’, so at this point, the new couple are working hard on the relationship, going through the different stages before reaching stability. Who then will have the time or the strength to be all over the social media?

This is not a rule, every relationship and marriage follows different pattern, some, even in the face of all the issues will still throw pictures, pouring praises and accolades, on the boo they can’t seem to understand back at home; but surprisingly, unlike some months back when such would have gathered loads of likes and comments, people no longer care, you know why? People moved on. After a while, the new bride of today is now like every other woman out there, the cool and dope couple now looks like every other couple, people will always move on to the next person doing something new, to new couples.

This is where you need to learn not to get carried away with the drama and fanfare, maybe you are still single because there are things you still need to get, you may be ready for  a wedding, yes, you have the financial means, maybe you have even picked a wedding dress, but are you ready for the ‘marriage’? Which we all know is the real deal.

You care so much about what people will say? Here is the truth, few weeks after your wedding, only a few people will remember that you got married, but you, on the other hand, will forever bear the brunt of the decision you took, the decision you took in haste will either be a blessing or a curse. If your marriage doesn’t work, the social media will talk about it, the same people that ‘awwwwwed’ you will also ‘ahhhaaaann’ you. They praised you for marrying such a fine man, believe me, they will also blame you for not studying him enough, for being careless and allowing a man deceive you.

Yes, you are beautiful, smart, skilled, talented, but ‘the race is not to the swift…’, are you in a hurry? Remember ‘there is time for everything under the sun’. Are you depressed because of things happening around you?’ Don’t forget that ‘faith cometh by hearing’, you will only respond to what you are exposed to, maybe it is about time you stopped looking around. Whatever you do, do not allow the social media push you!

With Love,


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