The saying “no one is perfect” is no doubt a cliche, we have said it many times, we hear it many times, but when it comes to the issue of finding a partner, that one person we wish to spend the rest of our life with, perfection in it full form is usually on our mind.
Should we blame the media for imbibing the wrong picture of ‘the perfect partner’ into our mind or should we blame our own insatiable desire to have it all?
Is there a perfect person for everyone? I will say yes, but is there a perfect person? The answer is a big NO. yes! no matter how much you look, no matter how much you search, you can never find someone who is perfect. Actually, no one is created perfect in the first place, what we are today and what we will be are products of our choices and circumstances.
So what do we do when we find that one person we truly love and hope to spend our forever with only to discover that some things are missing? Dump them? No, that will be too hard, the love is so strong and it is almost impossible to let go. So what else can you do? try to change him/her? Make him into your type of man, after all, change is constant right?
But here is the point of this post, whatever changes you wish to make happen, make sure you make it happen before you say ‘I do’, if not, your number one matrimonial mistake will be to assume marriage will change someone.
Marriage is indeed a big step, but it is not an automatic transformation avenue. If he can’t drop those habits despite the fact that you have decided to spend the rest of your life with him, then don’t expect him to change simply because you are now married. A cheater in courtship will cheat in marriage, that he is now married is not enough to change his cheating nature, as a matter of fact, the pressure and stress of marriage may make him cheat more, so if he will change at all, it must be for some better and stronger reason. A liar will lie her way into the marriage and lie even in the marriage. Marriage won’t make a spendthrift and demanding woman less demanding, in fact, marriage may heighten the habit because she now has more reasons to be materialistic, you married her after all.
Some even promise to change their religion immediately after marriage. My question is, why not change the religion before getting married and then get better and stronger in the marriage?
So what should you do? You should try to effect the change now while you are still dating, and if the changes look impossible, you will have to make a choice. Do you want to continue with the relationship or you want to walk away? if you chose to continue, then it is better you learn to live around those things, that way, you wont’ be putting yourself up for disappointments that may lead to hiccups in the marriage.