How Your Good Intentions Can Destroy Your Relationship
Your good intention is useless to the other person till it becomes an action – Anonymous
Everyone knew something had happened to Leo since last Christmas. The excitement, the glint in his eyes, the smile playing on his lips, I mean, what type of person just start smiling to himself without talking to anyone? But while Leo left others to wonder, he confided in his best friend Chris. Leo and Chris had been friends since their 100level days in the university, that is like 8 years ago, they knew each other so well and that was the reason Chris was able to figure out the cause of Leo’s excitement before anyone.
“Dude, what’s up with you, something seems to be off about you, oya talk to your guy” “hun hun? What?” That was all the response Chris got from his friend, it took Leo another five minutes before he could drop his phone to talk to his friend. “Dude!” You are in love!” Chris screamed. All Leo did was smile, which was to affirm his friend’s inquiry.
Leo met Ronke a few days to last Christmas and their love story was quite intriguing. The two were practically inseparable, what more does a person want from a relationship? The chemistry was tight, they both shared a good level of understanding, most importantly, they were in love.
But a few months after the relationship started, Ronke began to have doubts. “He hardly call these days, if I don’t call him, he won’t make any attempt to reach out to me, you don’t know how I feel these days” that is Ronke talking to her best friend Simi. “If you ask me o,” Simi responded. ” I will say you should give him time, maybe he is going through challenges and he is trying to sort himself out, just chill babe”.
Days ran into weeks, weeks into months, and the story was the same, in fact, it got a little worse. It was so bad that Ronke too didn’t care anymore, she had learned to live with the non-challant attitude of Leo towards her, not that she liked it though, but what can she do? Every efforts to reach out has gone down the drain and she is now just a foot away from being tagged a nag.
One weekend, the love birds had agreed to meet at a restaurant to have a dinner date, it has been long they had a real date, the few times they fixed dates, Leo didn’t show up, and other times he cancelled. Ronke didn’t put lots of efforts into looking good for the date, she just wore a red knee-length gown Leo had bought her when they started dating, she took a black purse, wore a black shoe to match and she was good to go. To be sincere, she was not hopeful things will go well, she had initially declined to go on the date, but Leo had insisted.
They agreed to meet by 6 pm at an eatery on the mainland, Ronke was there at 5:55 pm, but as usual. Leo was nowhere to be found, she ordered a drink and was fiddling with her phone when Leo called, “hey babes, I am so sorry I couldn’t make it, truth is, I am currently in Lekki, will see you later in the evening, I am so sorry” “OK” that was all Ronke could say, she called the waiter, paid her bill and left the place. On getting home she did not even remove her dress, she just sat there on the couch with her 6 inches sandals on thinking about her relationship, deep down, she knew what to do, but she still could not help but go down memory lane.
Leo showed up in her flat around 8 pm, and as usual, he didn’t feel any remorse for standing her up, or maybe he felt it but just won’t show it. He tried to hold her hand, but she moved away, before Leo could say anything, Ronke quietly said “I am done Leo, I can’t do this anymore”. To say Leo was shocked is an understatement, to him, they had a perfect relationship, well…maybe not so perfect, but they were doing OK. “What are you talking about Ronke?” Shocked Leo asked, you don’t love me any more?
This was what Ronke was waiting for, she knew Leo would turn the table and make everything her fault, but she will not have the s**t this time. “Don’t even start Leo”, she shouted with rage. “This is what you do all the time, talk and talk, that is about the only thing you do in this relationship, You don’t call, you don’t text, you don’t reach out if I don’t, and each time I call all you say is “Oh! Baby, you were on my mind all through the day, my darling, I miss you so much” Ronke said, mimicking Leo. We fix dates, you stand me up or you cancel at the last minute. “But…” Leo wanted to talk but Ronke cut him short. “But what? Wait, if I can’t fit into your plan, how on earth can I fit into your life?” Leo was silent, deep inside him, he believes he loves Ronke and he is showing it, at least, he use to tell her that often.
“All I hear are things you want to do, but at the end of the day, you don’t do anything, and funny enough, you believe I should understand your reasons for not fulfilling your promises.” “Look Leo,” Ronke continued “I can’t even trust you anymore, I can no longer believe anything you say, you apologise, then do the same thing again and again, you make promises and break them, and it is not a big deal to you. Do you think I was really expecting you to show up today? I Would have been disappointed if you showed up, but you see, I am just tired” Ronke shouted and went straight to her room.
Leo was dumbfounded, he kinda realized Ronke was right, and he also knows that she is angry at the moment. He stood up and left her house, but he promised himself he would be back, he is not the type that gives up easily, especially when the woman he loves and wishes to spend the rest of his life with is involved.
Love is indeed a beautiful thing, but a great love story can indeed be spoilt by good intentions that won’t translate to actions. Just like faith without work is dead, so is intention without action is lifeless. Having great intentions is a good thing, but here is the dilemma, a lot of people are blinded by their wonderful intentions, I mean, they can’t think of any reason things should go wrong since they have such high and lofty thoughts.
But here is the truth, no one can know your heart except you, it is what you say, backed up with what you do that people hold on to, not what is on your mind. You love, but you keep it inside, you are sorry, but you don’t show remorse, you miss someone, but you don’t reach out, but then, you wonder why people can’t understand you.
Don’t wander far, if you want to be understood, step out, act, show it, shed light, and you will be saving yourself a lot of stress and explanations.